Introduction 1

About This Book 1

What You're Not to Read 2

Foolish Assumptions 2

Conventions Used in This Book 2

How This Book Is Organised 2

Part I: All About You: What Every Parent Should Know 3

Part II: All About Babies 3

Part III: All About Toddlers 3

Part IV: All About Preschoolers 3

Part V: All About Schoolies 4

Part VI: All About Siblings 4

Part VII: The Part of Tens 4

Icons Used in This Book 4

Where to Go from Here 5

Part I: All About You: What Every Parent Should Know 7

Chapter 1: Help! Where Do I Start? The Basics 9

Knowing Your Child: Ages and Stages 10

Baby 10

Toddler 10

Preschooler 11

Schoolchild 11

Oh, and watch for the funny bits 12

Knowing Yourself 12

Your role: Parts all parents should play 13

Your goals: Hopes all parents have 13

Your fears: Worries all parents share 14

Don't Panic - It All Comes Together in the End! 14

Chapter 2: You're in Charge: Setting Boundaries 17

Boundary Basics 17

Understanding why boundaries work (even when they're broken) 18

Setting boundaries wisely 18

Strict? Easy going? What's your parenting style? 19

Toeing the Line: Making Boundaries Work 20

Being clear, certain, and consistent 20

Making it cool to do the right thing 21

Spelling out the consequences 22

Following through 22

Great ways to minimise boundary-breaking 23

Moving on: Reshaping boundaries together 24

Chapter 3: You Are Not Alone: Massing the Troops 25

Working with Your Partner 25

Discovering the truth about kids and relationships 26

Sharing the load 26

'But Daddy said ': Presenting a united parenting front 27

Finding time to be together 28

Working with Other Parents 29

Why what they say can keep you sane 30

And when you're better off not listening 30

A word about mothers - and mothers-in-law 31

Single but Not Solo 32

Finding back-up 32

Choosing mentors 33

Step-parenting: Raising a 'blended' family 33

Chapter 4: Other Secrets of Great Parenting 35

Right Way? Wrong Way? Your Way 35

Big-Picture Parenting: Eight Skills That Will Serve You for Years 36

Avoiding the Common Parenting Pitfalls 38

Comparing and contrasting 38

Over-parenting 39

Setting too much store by stuff 39

Five Golden Mantras Great Parents Repeat Every Day 40

'Onwards and upwards' 40

'Don't forget to laugh' 40

'Once more, with feeling' 41

'Guilt gets you nowhere' 41

'It's a phase' 41

Horrid comments even good parents hear 42

Chapter 5: Childminders, Nurseries, and Nannies 43

Choosing the Right Option for You 43

The day nursery 44

The childminder 44

The nanny 45

The granny 46

Finding the Right People for the Job 47

Going on a nursery hunt? 47

Going on a childminder hunt? 49

Going on a nanny hunt? 50

And when they're older? 52

Separation and Settling In 53

The Wise Parent's Guide to Childcare 54

Back to Work 54

The practicalities: Sorted! 55

The guilt: Busted! 55

Part II: All About Babies 57

Chapter 6: Surviving, Thriving, and Diving In: Getting Accustomed to Having a Baby 59

The First Six Weeks 59

Fasten on your L-plates 60

Tear up the to-do list 60

Jump at all offers of help 60

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me? 61

He looks so weird! 61

He cries such a lot 61

It's a boy/girl thing: clinginess 63

I can't handle this tiredness 64

He's suddenly so hungry 64

Heated debate: Dummies - good or bad? 64

Holding Patterns 66

Fab or fad? Attachment parenting 67

Nappy Know-how 67

Disposables or reusables? 67

Changing-mat rules and ruses 68

Blotchy bottoms 69

Settling In: Life after Six Weeks 69

The beginnings of routine 70

Getting out and about 70

Eight things never to leave the house without 71

Looking After Yourself 71

Making some me-time 72

Coping? Of course I'm coping! 72

Looking After Your Relationship 72

Tiff triggers and how to avoid them 73

The four rules of relationship rehab 74

Chapter 7: Mmmm, Mmmm, Good: Feeding Baby 75

The Truth about Breastfeeding 75

Why breastfeeding's great 76

Why breastfeeding's hard 76

Breastfeeding myths: busted 77

Giving breastfeeding your best shot 78

How to breastfeed 79

What to do when your milk 'comes in' 81

Why we give up - and how to avoid it 81

Throwing up all over: reflux explained 83

Supplementary bottles 84

Express yourself: A guide to the breast pump 85

Doing it in public 86

Doing it and working 87

Weaning from the breast 87

The Truth about Bottlefeeding 88

Vital safety facts 89

Overfeeding and weight charts 90

The breastfed baby who won't take a bottle 90

There She Blows! The Strange New Art of Winding 91

Chapter 8: Moving on to Solids 93

When to Start Solids 93

Letting the Food Fun Begin 95

Getting ready: Spoons and bowls and other essentials 95

Grub's up! Loading the spoon 96

Open wide: Here it comes! 97

Beyond First Bites: Purée and Simple 98

Baby-led weaning 100

Being a Food Whizz 100

Allergy Alert: Signs to Watch For 101

Up for the Cup? 101

Chapter 9: Sweet Dreams: Getting Baby to Sleep 103

What's Normal? 103

Safe Sleeping 104

The family bed 105

Distinguishing Night and Day 106

A word about naps 107

And So to Bed 108

Creating the ritual: Bath, cuddle, bed 108

Here's the rub: Massage magic 109

Soothing ideas 110

Beware the bad bed habits 110

Sleeping bags 111

Sleeping Through: Teaching Baby to Self-Calm 111

A room of his own 112

Wailing in the Wee Hours 113

Hungry cry? Scared cry? Hurt cry? 113

What to do when it happens again (1) 114

What to do when it happens again (2) 115

When enough's enough: Time to get tough 115

Chapter 10: Playing, Learning, and Socialising 117

Big Movements for Little Babies 117

Tummy time 118

And sit! 119

Doing the locomotion 119

Shake, Rattle, and Roll: The Truth about Baby Toys 121

Baby Talk, Buddy Talk: Developing Early Language and Social Skills 123

Coochy-coo: Why baby chat works 123

Baby signing 124

Do I know you? Becoming aware of self and others 125

It's a boy/girl thing: girls talk; boys walk 126

Six Cool Things New Mums Should Do (Eventually) 127

Over-stimulating (and How to Avoid It) 128

On or Off? Babies and TV 129

Part III: All About Toddlers 131

Chapter 11: Keeping Baby Healthy 133

Newborn Niggles and Teething Twinges 133

Cradle cap 133

Oral thrush 134

Nappy rash 134

Teething pains 134

Vaccinations: What You Need to Know 135

The vaccination programme 135

The heated debate: To jab or not to jab? 136

Making jabs less of a pain 137

Seven ways to boost your baby's health 137

What to Do When Your Baby is Ill 138

Fever 138

Vomiting and diarrhoea 139

Coughs and colds 139

Spots and rashes 140

Common infectious illnesses 141

Meningitis: The need-to-know facts 143

Allergies, Asthma, and Eczema 143

Allergies 144

Eczema 144

Asthma 145

Protecting your child in the sun 146

Chapter 12: Potty-Training 147

Why Potty-Training's Easier Than You Think - And How We Make It Harder 147

Realistic Expectations 148

When to try for dry days 149

When to try for dry nights 149

Natural infant hygiene 150

Potty Preparations 150

The warm-up 150

Is your child ready? 151

Are you ready? 152

Got the props? 153

Pick a method, any method 153

Okay, Let's Go! Potty-Training Boot Camp, Day One 154

How to make it easy pees-y for her 155

How to make it easy pees-y for you 155

Nappies and naps 156

Accidents will happen 156

Now wash your hands 157

So, how did it go? 157

The ups and downs of pull-ups 157

You're Almost There: Beyond Day One 158

Venturing outside 158

Letting her take the lead 159

Using the big toilet 160

'I can wipe my own bottom' 160

'I want to stand up like Dad' 160

Dealing with Setbacks 161

Poo refusal 161

Regression 162

The tough nut 162

Nappyless Nights: Worth the Wait 163

Chapter 13: Tantrum Tactics 165

What Lies Beneath: The Toddler Tantrum Explained 165

The beginner-level tantrum 166

The intermediate-level tantrum 166

Reacting with a Bomb, er, Aplomb 166

Staying cool: Chill skills you need to know 166

Being firm: It's what he wants (really) 167

Your Anti-scream Action Plan 168

Spotting the tantrum triggers (and why you're probably one of them) 168

Heading off the meltdown 169

Oh no! Stopping the strop 169

Calming after the storm 170

Special Tantrums, Special Measures 171

Ssh, everyone's looking! The public strop 171

Pushing, biting, and other nasty habits 171

Smacking (why it won't get you anywhere) 172

Chapter 14: Food and Sleep 173

Toddler Eating:...