Howard J. Markman, PhD, is a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Denver and the founder of the internationally known ­evidence-based couples relationship education program, PREP (Prevention and Relationship Education Program).

Scott M. Stanley, PhD, is a research professor at the University of Denver, specializing in research on commitment, relationship development, and prevention. He has been involved in the development of PREP for over 30 years.

Galena K. Rhoades, PhD, is a research professor and the director of the Institute for ­Relationship Science in the Department of Psychology at the University of Denver. She also founded a nonprofit in Denver called Thriving Families and is a practicing clinical psychologist.

Janice R. Levine, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples relationships and family development. She is coauthor of three books, founder of The Couples Health Program and is featured as a Top Doc in the Best in Massachusetts magazine.

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction 1

Part 1 Understanding the Risks on the Road to Lasting Love 9

1. The Three Keys for a Great Relationship 11

2. Destructive Patterns: Signs of Danger Ahead 19

3. Changing the Dance: Counteracting Communication Danger Signs 39

Part 2 Teaming Up to Handle Conflict 55

4. When What You Heard Isn't What I Said: Understanding Filters in Communication 57

5. What's Love Got to Do with It? 71

6. Talking Without Fighting: The Speaker Listener Technique 83

7. Controlling the Home Fires: Handling Issues and Events 101

8. New Perspectives on Problems and Problem-Solving 119

9. Ground Rules for a Great Relationship 137

Part 3 Enjoying Each Other 147

10. Staying Friends and Having Fun 149

11. Being There: Supporting One Another in Life 167

12. Sensuality and Sex: The Magical Art of Touch 183

13. Why You Can't Always Get What You Want: Unraveling the Mysteries of Expectations 199

14. Beliefs, Values, and Life Experiences: Navigating Differences and Cultivating Connection 217

Part 4 Staying the Course 235

15. Forgiveness: Restoring Hope 237

16. Commitment in an Ever-Changing World: Staying on the Wonderful, Winding Path 257

17. Moving Forward 275

Getting More Help 281

Resources Regarding PREP 287

References by Chapter or Theme 289

About the Authors 313

Index 317